Waiting months for an email response from a potential publisher is a uniquely cruel kind of purgatory.
When something has potential (like the manuscript I’d submitted), that’s typically a very good thing.
Potential is a beautiful word—until it becomes a prison.
While that word made me giddy upon first hearing it associated with my manuscript, it had taken on a darker tone during these months of waiting.
I had promised myself that I wouldn’t get emotionally wrapped up in “getting a deal.” The writing of the manuscript itself was the reward, right? I had retrieved ~60,000 words from the deepest parts of my soul and placed them in a document. The act of writing had clarified so many things for me: my theology, my understanding of sin and God and loneliness, my own stories from my life that had previously only been foggy memories.
I told myself the writing was the reward. That I wouldn’t care whether I got a deal. I wouldn’t get wrapped up, I promised.
But I broke that promise.
I wasn’t just wrapped up—I was unraveling. This book felt like a song in my soul, and I couldn’t bear the idea of it not being heard.
It turns out every email I’d been sending to the publishing contact who said the manuscript had potential—carefully worded, deeply hopeful—had landed in a spam folder. So did the follow-ups. And the follow-ups to the follow-ups. My heart was in purgatory, unread.
But finally. After painfully desperate attempts, multiple email hacks, and too many sleepless nights wondering, hoping, praying for a response…
The potential publisher had received my messages.
They were excited to review the manuscript. They would respond in a few months.
Purgatory revisited.
February, 24 2026, I’m excited to share Cathedrals of Connection—Your Invitation To Everyday Sacredness with the world!
From Turner Publishing, this book is meant to illuminate the holiness of the space between you and the next person you encounter through stories, insights, and reflections on ancient wisdom… shaped like a slow, sacred conversation between you and me, seated across from one another in your favorite coffee shop.
Here’s a picture of me feeling very excited about the interior sample proofs that I got from the publisher not long ago.
So, I thought I’d share a little bit about the process of this book with you, the followers of BETWEEN... Mostly because the book itself is directly related to the work of this ministry. Cathedrals of Connection will be an important resource for our global BETWEEN community— it is chock-full of stories and spiritual reflections that deeply explore what it really means to create moments of sacred human connection.
I believe we all have stories like the ones that fill the pages of this book. We all have sermons shaped by the wonders and trials of our lives that the world needs to hear. I don’t believe my words are especially ordained. They’re just as sacred as yours. I’m pretty sure all our stories carry divine weight.
But getting my words ordained by a publisher was another challenge entirely.
This book was rejected by 87 literary agents. (Writer’s Digest suggests not giving up until you’ve been rejected by at least 80 agents. I am an overachiever, I suppose.)
This book was rejected by 42 publishers. (The internet says, “it's generally understood that the vast majority of submissions are rejected. While some sources suggest 99% or even 99.9% of submissions are rejected, this doesn't mean it's impossible to get published.”)
But you only need one.
I share those discouraging numbers not to impress you (LOL. Obviously. You’re probably thinking, “This book must suck if it was rejected that many times.”) Actually, I share those numbers because that’s the reality of getting a book published. I’m actually celebrating my persistence and deep belief in this book. I’m sharing those striking rejection numbers to underline a) how much I admire other authors who have published multiple books, and b) how much this book means to me (and how much I hope it will mean to you).
As it turns out, getting a publishing deal in today’s book market is incredibly difficult. It requires authors to spend far more time “pitching” not only their book but also their public platform and ability to promote their work on social media. It requires writing and re-writing not only chapters and paragraphs, but also book proposals and query letters. It’s a sales and marketing challenge as much as it is a writing challenge.
And it’s hard.
And anxiety-inducing.
And painfully uncertain.
Here’s the rough timeline for how this book came to life.
September 2023—Finished book draft and started shopping it to agents and publishers.
June 2024—Received potentially positive response from a publisher (Turner Publishing). I respond immediately and excitedly.
Sat in the agonizing purgatory mentioned above.
September 2024—Finally, a response back from the publisher. My email in June had gone into a spam folder. These months felt like centuries. The publisher requested a developmental edit. More uncertainty ahead.
October 31, 2024—Resubmitted manuscript after significant edits (special thanks to the seven friends—and a few strangers—who read the manuscript and helped me reshape it).
More months of purgatory. Then, out of nowhere…
February 2025—RECEIVED A REAL BOOK DEAL!!!
February 2025 to February 2026—Editing, editing, editing, editing, and promotion, promotion, promotion, promotion.
I’ll come back and share more about this book in the months ahead.
Part of the reason I wanted to write about the process of getting this book published is to acknowledge the hard work of what our BETWEEN ministry is really all about.
This book, like our ministry, is counter-cultural. It is about the simple, gentle, sacredness of conversations and momentary interactions. Meanwhile, the world is about division, shouting, taking sides, and winning at all costs.
This book, like our ministry, invites everyone to the table and provides everyone with a warm drink and a comfortable chair. Meanwhile, the world pushes us away from each other and separates us into “believers,” “unbelievers,” “good guys,” bad guys,” “deconstructionists,” “zealots,” and so many other labels.
This book, like BETWEEN, isn’t flashy. It’s not built for viral posts or clout. It’s built for togetherness. For stillness. For the antidote to loneliness. For love that lingers in quiet places. For the patient work of healing the world, one sacred conversation at a time.
Paul wrote encouragingly…
“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9 NIV)
Thank you for being part of this unfolding story. The best conversations are still ahead.
